Learning to Breathe

It feels like having a hundred pounds of bricks on your chest. Every attempt of breathing is like trying to breathe through a straw. Your back starts to ache from all the shrugging you’re doing just to let a little bit of air into your lungs. Your chest feels like it is about to cave in. Your eyes are bloodshot and sweat drips down your paling face. For a moment it feels like this is how it all ends. This is what it is like to have an asthma attack. Asthma is a respiratory disorder of the lungs. It causes the airways of the lungs to narrow causing difficulty breathing, shortness of breath, and chest tightness. In extreme cases it can lead to death if left untreated during an attack.

Not too long ago, I had to go through this torturous ordeal of having an asthma attack just a week before Christmas. I woke up one morning, after a weekend of having a cold, short of breath. I’ve had asthma all my life so normally my rescue inhaler would do the trick and give me my breath back. Unfortunately it didn’t help. My symptoms progressed and worsened to the point of me almost passing out completely. My mother rushed me to the emergency room and they started me on continuous breathing treatments and large doses of steroids to get my lungs back to a point where they could move enough oxygen to keep me going.

So there I was on the ER bed gasping for breath. Trying to let in as much as much air as I possibly could. Moments pass before I started to think to myself, “what if this is it? Is this how it all ends?” Could this be the end of David Quilatan? It was a scary thought that the next several breaths could be my last. I found myself completely vulnerable and powerless in my state of health. My situation was out of my hands from the beginning of the episode.

If you couldn’t tell already, I made it though ok. I spent a couple of days in the hospital trying to help my lungs get well enough to make it home for Christmas. Upon my discharge, the doctors told me a bit of information that brought on a new perspective to my eyes. He said, with proper treatment and daily maintenance, my lungs will be able to heal properly and I can even live the rest of my life without asthma. Essentially, they told me that my lungs will learn how to breathe again.

In the Christian Bible, The Almighty creates man out of dust. In the first book, Genesis, it tells the story of The Creator who sculpted man from the dirt. It reads, “And the LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground.”It is interesting to note of our “humble” beginnings. Yes, we are born, from the beginning, from filth. We are beings born from a nasty, dirty, and grimy beginning.  It is what Professor Cornell West calls “the funk." We were made from filth from the beginning and are born from it up to now.

Let’s go back to the Creation Story. At this point, man was not yet finished; he was still lifeless, motionless, and cold, just like the dirt he came from. Man could not be left like this. There needed to be something more. Man needed a final touch to become complete. The Creator had one more step to complete the creation of man. In the Scriptures, it says that the Lord breathed breath into the lungs of man and that gave him life. There is a book in the Bible called Job that tells the same type of story. Job says in chapter 33,

“The Spirit of God has made me; the breath of the Almighty gives me life.”

He is saying the same thing that had happened all the way back in Genesis. His body, his flesh and bones, were made by God, but it was the Lords breath that gave him life.  In the book of Ezekiel, The Maker is talking to a bunch of what the Book calls “dry bones.” He says that he will cover these bones with tendons and muscle, and skin. He goes on and states again how He will breathe breath into these bones and give them life. Whether it was Job or Adam and Eve, their stories are the same. They were once lifeless and now, springing fourth from the nothingness, there is life. They were once cold pieces of dirt but now they now have something to live for. Their existence now has direction, meaning, and purpose.

The breath that is given to us is something extremely special. It is the same breath that created the space above us. It gave the sun its fire. It put the planets into rotation. It tells every lightning bolt where it will strike. It placed the stars in the sky. This breath turned the Red Sea into a red carpet. It moved mountains. It turned a staff into a snake. It turned Moses hair white. It is the breath that whispered, “It is finished.” The same breath that spoke our world into existence is the same breath that was breathed into us, into our very own lungs.

In the Creation Story, Adam and Eve received this creating breath in the beginning. They did not ask for it, it was given to them. But something happened. An evil scheme was set in place to separate man from this life giving breath, and it worked. The perfect plane of existence The Maker intended us to live on was broken up and threw us on a tangent, a tangent toward our inevitable end. Toward wars, genocide, racism, and hate. Towards death and decay. Towards kids eating out of trash cans and women being sold into sex slavery.  Towards smart bombs that stupidly find their way to innocent civilians. Towards the chaos that we live in today.

It’s a tragic state that we live in. We live in a world in constant turmoil, distress, discontentedness. It’s a dark and scary world that we are born into every day. It’s hard to imagine life other than what we see in front of us when all we ever see is more hurt, more pain, and more suffering. What can free us from, what Shakespeare called, “this mortal coil?” It is a coil that constricts us and squeezes us dry. It is like we are fighting against the tide in a battle that we were never meant to win.

But my friends, there is hope for us yet, because this is where it all starts. I look at this world and all its brokenness, and I can either say one of two things. One: this is just how things are and that this is all that it will ever be. Or two, I can say that there was once something here, something beautiful, that was broken. I see something that is meant to be fixed again. Think of it like seeing ceramic pieces on the floor and coming to the conclusion that there was once a beautiful vase before this mess in front of us.

So this is my prayer to all who find their way to this miniscule topical 1400 word essay. I pray that we all find ourselves with our chest caving in, with our eyes blood shot, and bodies stretched thin. I pray that we find ourselves powerless and completely vulnerable. I pray that we find our situations out of our hands. I hope we find ourselves face down in the ground at the bottom of who we are where there are no pretenses to cling on to. I pray that we find ourselves discontented with this world. And I pray that we all find ourselves desperate, longing, no I pray we find ourselves begging for air again.

This skin and bones we have is not enough my dear friends. They say that you are not alive until you are living, so let us all breathe in the air that gives life, purpose, and meaning. Oh, the precious life giving air.  Let us find ourselves gasping for breath so that we can find ourselves learning to breathe in the everlasting atmosphere of grace once again. 

The Perfect Note

I’ve always been a guy who has wanted to learn a bit of everything. I always seem to find myself jumping from one new trade to another. In junior high I was really into basketball and golf. In high school I was really into cars and swimming. In my first year of college I got myself into martial arts. Now, in my second year of college I started to learn the guitar. I think the saying goes “a jack of all trades but a master of none.” It’s kind of humorous that I find myself living in that very statement. As I think about all the things I started to learn, I realize that I’ve learned much about life from all of these different skills.  In practicing golf I learned that it is better to be accurate than powerful.  In swimming I learned that pace is everything. In martial arts I learned that we should be patient and wait for the right moment for everything. However, I think that it is the guitar, which is teaching me some of the most important things about life; the kind of things that transcend my own thoughts and seem to leak into reality and find their place in the mystery of existence. 

The acoustic guitar is a simple yet wonderful piece of engineering. Comprised of almost entirely wood, the acoustic guitar is made up of a hollow body with a sound hole to release sound, a fret board, six strings and a head stock. The strings are strung around two ends of the guitar, at the headstock and at what is called the bridge at the body end of the guitar. The strings are of different size to create different sounds. There are normally six strings on an acoustic guitar; there is an e, B, G, D, A, E string. The purpose of these strings is to vibrate and produce a particular musical note.  As these strings are played, the vibration echoes around the inside of the body and comes out of the sound hole. These strings are quite interesting when you take time to look at them. In a sense, I’ve found out that they, in some ways, represent life.  It seems to be a bit ridiculous to equate life to a simple guitar string, but you would be surprised at what you may find in these elementary steel strings.

Take any stringed instrument that has ever been created and the basic mechanics are essentially alike. From harps, violins, chellos, guitars of every type, and everything in between; the strings are set up in practically the same fashion; the strings are wrapped around two poles. Sometimes these poles are very far apart and sometimes they are very close together. Whatever the distance, the string is still strung around these two poles and produces the same type of sound as the other sting insturments. Between these two poles, lies something wonderful, something that, when understood, has brought me closer to figuring out what this life is about.

The dictionary explains it as “the state of being stretched or strained.” in other words; between these two poles there is a tension. The strings are being stretched and strained in such a way that the tension becomes awkward and hard to deal with at times. It is almost like the poles are fighting for possession of the string. Like a sonic tug-o-war, the poles struggle to see who will win over the string in the end. Sometimes the string wants to go to one end at times, and in other times, it pulls to the other. Although the tension is so awkward, confusing, and perturbing at times, without this harsh tension, the string would have no tone. The string would cease to make sound without this tension. This tension is crucial to the meaning of this string.

As I look at it, much of life is in engaged in the same exact tension as in a guitar. There is so much polarity that can be seen in life at any given time. We see the good and the bad, bitter and the sweet, love and war. There is dying and there is birth, breaking up and getting together. Democrats and Republicans. Black and white. We see blessings as well as we see curses. All of these things are complete opposites just like the poles on a guitar. These things are always in competition with each other. These things try, just like the poles on a guitar, to gain control of us. Sometimes we find ourselves pulling toward one end one day and the next day we are headed to the other end. This is where we find things such as depression and utopia. A string that is pulled to much towards one end will inevitably destroy the string.

When we go through life looking only at the terrible things we can become depressed and sometimes, near suicidal. We could get so caught up in the negative aspects of this life, we start to believe that there is no hope for this world. But the same thing can be said about opposite end of the spectrum. When we go through this life focusing only on the good, we forget that there are still things we need to fix. We fail to see the imperfections in this life that can be made right. It is like having a ound and then try to tell ourselves that “it’s ok, everything is fine.” We try and tell ourselves that there's "nothing wrong."We try and cover the wound up and away from sight, and try to pretend that it doesn’t exist. We can’t run away from the pain, but we cannot focus only on the pain itself, we have to heal the wound. We must take action toward making things better.

So where do we find ourselves? Where do we turn to when we are caught up in this tension? I find myself back to the analogy of the guitar. We are fully aware of the strain that is placed on the string by the opposing poles, but there is a spot on the string where you place your finger and the tension takes on a new form. If the finger is placed in the right spot, the tension turns into a note. This note can sound so beautiful and honest.  Jon Foreman, the lead singer and song writer of the rock band Switchfoot, when asked how to change the world, he responded simply,

“Honesty would be a good place to start.”

 I think Jon hit it right on the head, to take part in this note, is to become honest with the tension. You don’t ignore the opposing poles, but you recognize them; you take them both in. We don’t stray away from the pains of this world nor do we indulge ourselves with all the sweet aspects. We acknowledge the dirt as well as the flower. We must accept the fact that this world has its terrible flaws, but even so, there is and will always will be hope for this failing world.

So the question remains, how do we know where to place our finger? Where do we find this middle ground? Where can we find this perfect note? I think the real question is this, “who do we have playing our strings?” we can spend our whole lives trying to figure out where to find ourselves within this tension and we could never get it right. I am fairly convinced that the Eternal Creator knows exactly how to play our strings accordingly. I believe in a God who adores music. I can see Him creating a wonderful symphony of sounds with our lives as the instruments. We are all different in so many ways just like instruments. We all look different, make different sounds, and played totally different ways. But in order for these instruments to make something beautiful, they need a conductor. Sure we can sound great by ourselves, but we could sound so much better when played together.

Sometimes our strings are out of tune, dirty, or even dead. However, I strongly believe that the Infinite Other Himself, is able to tune our strings, our lives to create something that we have never heard or even dream of hearing before. He is able to give life to our dead and dusty strings, to our fragile and broken frames. God clashes our lives together even more intricate than the best of composers in history. I long for the day where we all decide to allow the Eternal Conductor to enter our lives and give meaning to the tension and to the noise that we make. The wonderful part is that this decision is and has always been ours to make. We can decide to live our lives searching for this perfect spot and playing our instruments alone, or we can decide to become a part of one of the greatest songs ever written. We have an awesome opportunity to be involved in the greatest symphonies ever created. A symphony where songs of Redemption, Salvation, Grace, Hope and Love ring true into eternity. This is how I find my perfect note

How will you find yours?

I Hope

The other day my co-worker told me that his nephew was found dead in an alleyway. When the autopsy came in, it said that he died of a heroin overdose. What really troubled me was when I heard of his age. He wasn’t a middle aged man or even a man in his twenties. No, his nephew was 18 years young. Yes, 18 years young.  Barely considered an adult with his whole life ahead of him and it was taken away within 30 seconds.  Thousands of kids his age die every day in America because of things like heroin overdoses, starvation, drunk driving, and the list could go on.

Tragedy doesn’t stop there, there are even more young women being sold into sex slavery even in the United States. Slavery, in a country that is built on the idea of freedom. In an article posted by ABC News, in 2006, the FBI estimates over 100,000 are trafficked in America. "They range in age from 9 to 19 with the average age being 11."  Many of these victims are average teens that come from good homes in nice neighborhoods and are just lured in by clever kidnappers. 

Surely, these tragedies are not just confined to the boarders of America. I look at the whole world and there are tragedies that are happening all over. In the African country of Somalia there is a civil war raging on since the early 90's. Just recently a famine has struck Somalia and resources such as simple drinking water and basic food are running dry. The UN has said this is the worst draught in a century; millions of Somalians are at risk of starvation. The rebel generals that are running things over there are blocking all support from all United Nation with attempts to feed thousands of starving and innocent Somalians. Over 30,000 Somali children under the age of 5, have died from starvation. Many more are on the verge of death. 

At this very moment, millions of kids are starving and rolling through dumpsters wondering when they will find their next meal. This is tragic. At the same moment, millions of people are being sold into sex slavery against their will. There are teens, dying of drug overdoses.  Innocent civilians die from another road side bomb made by terrorist, tragic."Smart bombs" stupidly find their way to homes of civilians. Another person of color is being called a racist slur. It is safe to say that all these things are indeed Tragic.

Tragedy, our world is filled with it, every day, every moment there is something “tragic” happening in every corner of the globe. But yet, if these things are facts that we hear on the news, how can we, in this post modern world, call these things tragic? Tragedy loses its meaning at the dinner table when the nightly news comes on.  It loses its meaning in the news paper headline that is left on the seat of the bus. In post modern America, we see these stories, these “tragedies” and we say, “oh how terrible” and we continue about our day. Going to work, the gym, the grocery store, to school, wherever our day leads us. These tragedies are no longer tragic, they become “how things are.” Just another story on the six o’clock news. I look at the news app on my smart phone everyday and I see articles about tragic things such as shootings in Norway, or an earthquake that hits Japan, but in the end, it just becomes another story on my smart phone app. Tragedy becomes just another word. Tragic indeed.

So let’s look at another word, hope. How do we define hope in our post-modern world? Webster’s Dictionary states hope as a noun as well as a verb. As a verb, hope’s definition is this: “to feel that something desired may happen.” When you say that something may happen, that means what is desired has the possibility of not coming into reality. In Christian Scripture, Hope takes on a different meaning. According to Hebrew and Greek translations in accordance to usage in Scripture, hope is actually an indication of certainty. Its literal definition in Christian Scripture is “a strong and confident expectation.” There is no "may happen," it instead turns to will happen. In Christianity, there are no doubts for salvation for a failing world; there are no doubts of redemption for a fallen man, and there are no doubts of the power of The Eternal Maker. There are no doubts of a Second Coming. It is certain that these things will happen eventually.

 “For in hope we have been saved, but hope that is seen is not hope; for why does one also hope for what he sees? 25 But if we hope for what we do not see, with perseverance we wait eagerly for it.” Romans 8: 24-25 NIV

As a Christian, to have hope is to believe in a world that does not yet exist, a world we cannot see. Hope, oddly enough, is having disbelief.  It is saying “I cannot believe that it is right to see children eating out of garbage. I cannot believe that this is normal.” Hope is ultimately a movement towards a better place, an acknowledgement towards the Kingdom of the Heavens. Without this hope, tragedies no longer become tragedies, they are what are expected out of life; they become eventualities, things that "just happen." But with hope, you no longer accept that "this is the way things are" as reality. I for one, refuse to believe that this is the way the world is supposed to spin. I believe in a world turned upside down, caved in, and on its knees. When you have hope, you are calling out the injustices in this life as they are, tragic. When we decide to have hope, we let a bit of the Infinite into the world we live in. 

Martin Luther King had hope. Rosa Parks had hope. Joan of Ark had hope. The Kennedy's had hope. Jesus Christ had hope. Each one of these people, and so many more, saw a world that was in a state of true tragedy.  Each one of these people saw the world as it was and believed that it wasn’t how it should be.  They had hope for a world that was better than what they see in front of them. From racial oppression to oppression by sin, these people did not stray away from the tragedies but met them head on.

In Christianity, when Jesus Christ died, He died to pay the punishment for sin. He saw the effects of sin as well as the implications they have for the fate of humanity. However, He saw a world that, at the moment, did not yet exist. With that hope for a new world, He laid down His life to make that world a reality. He created a world of Redemption and Salvation. This is the world that we live in today, where there is such thing as another chance. In this world sick are healed. In this world the sinners become saints. Eternity becomes reality and not just a rumor.

"I am leaving you with a gift- peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don't be troubled or afraid." John 14:27 NIV

So now we are stuck choosing between these two worlds, a world of despair where tragedy is just another word. A world where children starve, women are sold, 18 year olds with their whole life ahead of them die from drug overdoses, and all along this is “just how things are.” 


Or do we choose the world that The Infinite Creator set for us all? A world of hope, love, redemption and salvation; where tragedies are tragic, where wrongs are made right. “How things are” is not an acceptable answer by any means. This is where love wins in the end. Do you refuse to take the world as it is? Which world do you choose?  Do you choose to say, “I Hope?”

He saved the world..

One of the greatest videos I've seen in a very long time....

Today; It's all we have

When I look back to remember my freshman year in college, I realize that freshman 15 got the best of me. I’m sure we are all aware what the freshman 15 is, especially the post grad students.  We all leave high school in possibly one of the best shapes we have ever been in and we enter college and all of a sudden, a flood of weight seems to come out of nowhere and hits us like brick. For me it was a little bit over 15 pounds; more along the lines of 20.

I remember the summer after my freshman year all my friends started going to the gym and working out a lot. I watched on the sidelines as they progressed in overall muscular size.  That is exactly what I did all summer, sit on the sidelines. I didn’t try to join them at the gym, I never tried to exercise at home, or go for a run. I just sat there and watched. I did this because of one thing, I couldn’t let go of the past; of my past.

In high school, I swam, a lot. Every day, for 45 minute, I would be in the pool at school. Swimming sometimes until I was on the verge of passing out. When I wasn’t in school, I was at the gym, swimming. The majority of my life junior and senior year was based on swimming.  Sometimes I would end up swimming a mile almost every day.  Along with swimming came the obvious health benefits. I lost about 30 pounds junior year and kept if off for a whole year. I went from a hefty 185 to a lean and toned 155. I was in the best shape of my life by far.  With a healthy and fit body, came a large confidence with women. I went wild. I had self confidence that I never knew I had. These were by far the best days of my life.

Fast forward a year and now I’m a freshman in college. The weight is up and now my confidence is back down. All of my close friends are out getting beach bodies for the summer and there I am, sitting in my self-loathing state of misery. I kept saying to myself and my friends, “man I wish I had my junior year body.” Or “do you remember when I was in high school? My body was amazing.” And the, “I was in the best shape back then.” And that is the exact phrase that I ignored; “back then.” I was so caught up in the past, it stopped me from making my future.  More importantly, holding on to the past stopped me from trying to make a better today.  I had to tell myself and constantly remind myself that continually thinking about the past, about how things used to be, will not get me back in shape. I had to let go of the past and I had to start thinking about today.

In the Judeo- Christian story of the Resurrection of Jesus Christ, Christ appears to Mary Magdalene after He rises. As the story goes, Jesus appears outside of the tomb where He was just buried. There He sees Mary crying. He goes up and asks her why she’s crying. Mary, all this time has no idea who Jesus is at the time, tells him that she is looking for the body of Christ. Christ simply calls her name and right then and there, she remembers who He is. She cries out “Rabbi!” meaning teacher in Hebrew, and she goes to hug Him. But Jesus tells her, No, do not to hold on to me. The first command that Jesus makes after He is resurrected is to tell someone not to hold on to Him?

 Now when Mary sees Jesus again, after all this time she thought He was dead, she all of a sudden, remembers the past. Mary remembers how things used to be, how Jesus would teach, lead them to places, and heal people, and how He had changed her life, drastically. However, Jesus sees and wants a new day. Jesus did not come back to life to go back and teach, He did not come back to life to walk around with the Disciples, to eat meals with them and laugh and live with them. Jesus didn’t come back to make things go back to “how they used to be.” Jesus came back to change things; He came back for a new day, a new reality. He tells Mary not to hold on to Him the way she used to because things will not be the same; they will not be how they used to be, things have changed.

How many times do we tell ourselves that? That life was better “back then.” That “I wish I could go back.” Many of us, especially the “middle age crisis dads”, long for the past. In past relationships, how many times do we say to ourselves and our former partners, “can’t we go back to the way things used to be?” Or things like, I wish I could go back with him or her. As sad as it sounds, some of us could live our entire lives living in the past.  Longing and wanting for how things used to be. Our minds and our hearts are forever stuck to the days where things seemed to go our way.

The wonderful thing about life is that it is always changing; it is not a static concrete event. People grow, live, die, they move away, they change. People break up and get married, and divorce, or lose their jobs, and there is no stopping it. Life is never what we plan is it? And things will never go back to how they used to be will they? If you cannot let go of the past, then how could you ever learn to embrace the future?

There is so much to be had in the future! No, there is so much to embrace today! Today is filled with opportunities, more than we can ever imagine. If I never let go of my junior year, I wouldn’t be in the best shape of my life today. I would have never been able to move past my hefty 185 and make it down to my lean 170. The point is, is that today is all we have in this life.

So what should we do with the past? Totally forget about it altogether? Should we totally cut off all ties with the past, with what has happened? It’s surprising for me to say this but, no we shouldn’t.  There's a lot of polarity that life has to offer; the good the bad, the bitter and the sweet. Breaking up and staying together. They are all polar opposites; like a string wrapped around two poles, there is a tension. The tension is awkward and unsettling at times. But without the tension between the two poles the string has no tone. Just like a guitar string.

The point is, like a guitar string there is a middle ground where you don't shut out both ends of the string, but instead you take both poles, the tension, the awkwardness, and you make a tone. This tone often times sounds great when played right.

You can’t shut out your past altogether because that is like shutting out a piece of your life. That time of your life defines you in some ways. However, at the same time, you cannot hold on to the past forever. There is a middle ground, a place where you remember the times you had and you become thankful for those times. You will always remember when God brought you to that situation and had a reason to take you out. Like a guitar, the tension may hurt at times, but if you find the right spot to settle your finger, there can be something wonderful to come out of it

If you need to grieve about those situations then grieve.  If you want to remember how awesome those times were then remember. If there is an unsettled relationship then make amends but then move on, move forward. Don’t stay there. It starts to get a bit tragic when we start to make ourselves believe that things were better back then, in the past. The problem becomes this: we are not fully present today and the people around us that are present in our lives suffer because we are just not there; we are stuck in the past. By the time we do get around to being with the people who are in our lives now, the time would have already past and you would have missed it. We might never get that second chance to tell them that we care, that we love them, and that we are there, with them, in the present.

There is a saying that says that yesterday has past by us, tomorrow is not promised, so today is all we have in this life. Right after Jesus tells Mary not to hold on to Him, He tells her to go and tell everyone what has happened. He gave her a part, He essentially gave her something to live for, today. So my friends, I hope and pray that you remember the past, celebrate what has happened, but let go of it and embrace a new day that God has set out for you and me. I hope that you all embrace the fact that God has given us a new spirit to hold on to now, this very moment, at the end of this sentence, today.

The Revelation of Choice

  There is something seriously wrong with this world, this earth, this place that we call home. Most of us try to avoid cynical thoughts and chose to believe that deep down everyone is good inside. We try to believe that there is, somewhere in everyone, goodness. However, the evidence that we see on a daily basis seems to pull our thoughts to the opposite direction. From acts of genocide, child abuse, murder, rape, human trafficking, hate crimes, street violence, wars with “smart” bombs that seem to stupidly make their way to the presence of children. There are tsunamis, earthquakes, hurricanes, and volcanoes that take and destroy the lives of countless human beings. If there is a God out there, why do these things continue to happen? What is the meaning of all of this chaos that happens to us? Is there a meaning to life, and if so, what is it? People all over the world as well as in history have wondered if there is more to life than the hurt that we see right now. Maybe the answer lies in religion, in the belief in God, and that He is the source of meaning in our lives. With this statement comes the atheist strongest argument against the existence of God which is the problem of evil as well as morality. These arguments pose an immense barrier that a theist must overcome to prove Gods existence. However, it is reasonable to believe that these arguments can be rebutted effectively and possibly disproven through the arguments of free will and objective morality. It can be ultimately said that the atheistic arguments against the existence of God do not, in fact, disprove His ultimate and divine existence.

    First the issue of morality, the issue of what is right and what is wrong. Theists strongly believe that God implanted in all human beings, basic moral principles. When we see someone being killed, raped, or robed, we automatically believe it is wrong. Most and hopefully all, of us believe that slavery and things like human trafficking are wrong. These feelings of morality are said, by theist, to have a divine origin. The formal moral argument states that morality is purely perspective: it, in a way, tells us what to do. Since it tells us what to do, one can infer that it is a command. Since it is a command, it must come from a commander. It also states that morality is ultimately authoritative and that this authority is above all human institutions. So if morality is a command and cannot come from human institutions, then it must come from some supernatural source. In terms of the Judeo/Christian religions, that supernatural source is God.

This being said, there are counter arguments that arise. One might argue that morality is, in reality, relative. The idea of moral relativity is that in some parts of the world, people may do things that others think is immoral. In some cultures stoning someone to death is considered to be justified. In others cultures, beating a wife is also considered a normal act, and some wives actually expect to be hit. In western culture it is safe to say that these things are not okay to do; beating your wife or anyone for that matter is morally wrong. This brings us to the argument that morals are not subjective and relative, but are objective. Morals seem to be the same despite what someone might believe. Take Adolph Hitler for example, he believed without a doubt that the killing of Jews, homosexuals, and blacks was morally justified. In actuality, he committed one of the worst atrocities known to man. Just because he thought he was right, doesn’t make it okay to say that his morality was simply relative and dismiss his acts of hate.

   In the idea of Ying and Yang, the world is ultimately balanced out accordingly. The bad of this world is balanced out by the good. The basic premise, at least to my understanding, is that yes some kids are sold into slavery, but there are good things that balance that out. Like beautiful flowers or a young man that helps out a elderly women with her groceries. I personally believe that there should be absolutely no kids sold into slavery, zero, not even one. Things like child slavery have no room in my books for being accepted in this world. Taoist say that these evils are inevitable and ultimately cannot be stopped because they “balance out” the universe accordingly. With all due respect to believers of that religion, I say that is absolutely ludicrous, and I refuse to believe that as truth for the meaning of life.

Richard Dawkins says in God’s Utility Function that,

 “In a universe of electrons and selfish genes, blind forces, and genetic replication, some people are going to get hurt, other people are going to get lucky, and you won’t find any rhyme or reason to it, nor any justice.”

So through a naturalistic point of view, there is no good, no evil, just the physical world. Nothing more and nothing less. If this is true, than human life has no intrinsic value, that there is no difference in taking a human’s life than stepping on an ant. Each human life is just a coincidence, just a random flip of a coin. In the naturalistic world, there is no need for morals because the bad things that happen to other people are inevitable and are eventualities. This is like going to a single mom who lost her husband at war, having to support three kids on a minimum wage job and saying, “sorry but your life is no more important than anyone else, so suck it up.”  If there is no need for morals, then why do we find it horrendous to see humans placed into a shower room and gassed because of what they believe, or why do we feel sick to our stomachs when we hear about children being sold into slavery. These things are seen in our eyes as evil. Thus brings us to the atheist most daunting argument to the existence of God, the problem of evil.

   In the Christian religion, it is believed that God is the ultimate creator of the universe. God is all powerful, is all knowing, and is benevolent, which means He wants the best for the human race because He created them especially in His glorious image. However, atheists have found something wrong with this description in relation to our world we live in. It is evident that there is moral evil present in this world, rape, murder, genocide, etc. The problem of evil is this: if there is this moral evil, and there is an all powerful, all knowing, benevolent God, then why doesn’t He stop evil from happening altogether? If He wants the best for the human race, then why not make it perfectly good? Why can’t this all powerful God stop natural disasters from happening? The only option is to believe that there is no God at all.

  The argument seems to have a few parts to it. It first states that God does not exist because of imperfection. If there is a God, then He is perfect. If he is perfect, then he would create perfect things. A perfect potter makes a perfect pot, a imperfect potter makes an imperfect pot. This being said, it is clear that the world we live in is not perfect by any means. This entails that there is no God.

   There also is the problem of natural evil. In the problem of evil, there is stated to be two types of evils. There are moral evils which are evils that are inflicted by one human to another human. These things such as rape, murder, theft, etcetera. Then there is natural evil which are tornadoes, hurricanes, tsunamis, earthquakes, and other natural disasters. These natural evils, unlike moral evils, cannot be controlled by man. Yet they destroy and take the lives of countless people. If there is a God, then why doesn’t he stop these things from happening?

    The next part of the argument is the statement that if God is in existence, then why he doesn’t make himself known to all men. This comes from the argument of disbelief or unbelief. If God is all powerful then he would make sure everyone believes in His existence. This however, raises a problem as some atheist would say because there is unbelief in his existence. Therefore, as atheist would say, God does not exist.

    Theists do however; have a rebuttal for this dilemma. Imagine haing a spouse whom which you have full control over. You can program him or her to have the perfect body, the perfect pair of eyes, the perfect hair, even the perfect genes for reproduction, the perfect everything. Whenever you want a bite to eat, they will make it for you without hesitation and serve you with kind words in all situations. You can tell them to say “I love you” or “You’re the greatest” whenever you please. This situation however, leaves no room for real love. Some would say that love is only real when it ischosen to be given to another person. You only love someone when you have to choice not to love them at all. It can be said that love only happens when someone has the free choice not to love you or to love someone else. Theists call this free will. The case of free will is said to be the strongest counter argument to the atheist strongest argument.

    In the Judeo/Christian religion, God is said to create man in his image. This statement is not to be taken literally that man and God look the same, but that God bestowed the same qualities He has to the humans He created. He gave mankind the same freedom He has, not the freedom of ultimate power, knowledge, or presence, but the freedom of choice. God is said to be a being of pure love, thus he gave this love to the beings He created. So He created man with the freedom to love Him, as well as the freedom to totally reject Him altogether. Man also has the free will to choose how to treat one another, that we are held responsible for each other’s well being. Jon Foreman, the lead singer of the band Switchfoot said these words in an interview, he quotes,

 “ neither love nor hate are inevitable or eventualities; both war and kindness are choices.”

 Jon Foreman hit it right on the head, we have the power to show extreme hate, but we also have the power to show extreme love and kindness, it is simply our choice.

    During troubling times such as famine, droughts, earthquakes, hurricanes, God gave humans the choice whether to turn to Him for shelter or not. Some people cry out for safety and some would rather curse God for putting them under this situation. In some cases, people would rejoice that God has put them in these natural disasters because it tests their faith in the Infinite. Some theist could argue that once that person choices to love, accept, and ask God for help, is when God will be there to save them. This does not contradict Gods free will because some might argue that since the person freely choses God, He is then free to reveal Himself to them.

   Some theist say that evil is not what we think it is. Atheist state in the problem of evil that if God created everything, and evil is part of everything, then God created evil. If God created evil then God is not morally good and therefore does not exist. Some believers say that the perception of evil can be changed. In physics, there is technically no such thing as cold. This is said because “cold” is just the absence of heat. It is the same for light and dark. In physics, light can be measured and examined, however darkness cannot be. This is due to the fact that darkness is just the absence of light. So it is reasonable to say that evil is here not because God created it, but it is what happens when the presence of God and his goodness is not present. Some might even say the only thing that shadows do is prove the sunshine.

The premise can be used in the subject of heaven and hell and an afterlife. If evil is just the absence of good, the maybe hell is not the fire and brimstone scene that most people think of. The Christian religion says that people go to heaven not because they have done good things on earth but that they chose to accept God as well as Jesus Christ. Situations where people like Jeffery Dhamer, who committed extremely vile and atrocious acts of murder, accepted God and Christ as his savior. Christians would say that even he, a murdering rapist, would find himself in heaven when the day comes because of his choice to accept salvation through the cross to ultimate everlasting life in God. This being said, it is reasonable to say that heaven is a place where one is in complete connection with God, and hell is the complete opposite, having the presence of God completely taken away from one’s life.

    So what can be said about all this?  How does knowing this bring meaning to our lives? Maybe because we know that we have a choice to act is what sets us apart from all other life form. Maybe when we realize that we are ultimately in charge of bringing goodness to the world.  People will always ask, why can’t God just stop all evil at once because it is in our best interest that we live in peace. This is true, but maybe God wants us to decide to finally say that we want to live in peace, and that He alone is the only way to that peace, and when we finally decide that we would rather live with an almighty, infinite, and loving God, is when He will decide to end the suffering. Christians would say that God can only freely intervene and express His power when we freely decide that He may do so. In the Judeo/Christian religion, God simply wants to take care of us, like a Sheppard tends to his flock, but it is ultimately our choice if we want to be cared for or not. When we chose to accept God, then we chose to step into a realm of eternal goodness, transcendence,  and hope. When we chose otherwise, we get the complete opposite; we live in a world that has no goodness, and no light, only darkness. I believe it was CS Lewis who said that he supports democracy because he distrusts all men equally. I can understand his sentiment, I have very little faith in men. I believe that the Infinite Other himself is the only hope for any form of freedom from our various forms of self-tyranny. Without this hope I am not merely skeptical, I am hopeless, near suicidal.

Yes this world is flawed beyond belief, and beyond our power to fix, but like finding a needle in a haystack, we find order in the midst of chaos when we decide to look to the Infinite God who has the power to fix these problems in our lives. It is God alone that can brush away all the dirt and hay to reveal a truth that is concrete, and is resolute in nature, and can never change. The truth that it is only when we ask for Him to be present in our lives and when we accept the salvation He offers, is when we are able to see the sunlight through the shadows. When we chose to give our finite lives, to the Infinite God, is when we can finally see peace and eternal goodness. So what do you chose? Do you chose to believe that our lives are just coincidence, that they have no real value, they are just another species doomed for ultimate destruction? Or do you choose to believe in The Truth, goodness, mercy, salvation, and hope. The choice is subjectively yours to make and every breath you have in your lungs is a chance for redemption.

Suffering: a great contradiction

A heavy feeling found its way over my heart as I was listening to a friend of mine talk about what’s been going on in her life. She was telling me how she’s been struggling with all the different situations in her life. She tells me how it feels like she can’t seem to catch a break and that she always seems to be facing something new every day and that they always seem to be harder than the last situation. What troubled me more was that she talked about giving up at times and she’s been trying to find something to hold on to.  Deeply concerned, I tried to find something that could give her some kind of hope she can cling to.

Words were spinning around in my head as I waited for them to align themselves into some kind of order and at that moment I asked myself one of the most important questions I’ve ever asked myself, “why do we suffer?”

I began to break down the question and looked at the focus word, suffer. Webster’s Dictionary defines “suffer” as “to tolerate or endure evil, pain, or death. To endure or bear; stand.”  This definition threw me back a bit. When we hear a word like suffer, we think about agony, pain, and distress. Generally we think about suffering with negative connotations. However, the definition seems to portray a different feeling, a feeling of hope. But how can this be?  How can hope ultimately come from suffering? How can something that can push a dead and dying world through to a new day come from the worst of times? It seems to be one of the greatest contradictions I have ever come across.

As a Christian, I believe that there is truth found in The Word. So I turn my eyes to the Bible and find myself in the story of Job. The story of Job seems to epitomize the very meaning of suffering. This guy had pretty much everything he could ever ask for. He had tons of land, cattle, money, and a enourmous house. He had a wonderful and beautiful wife and children who loved him. He had servants who respected and served him with loyalty. This guy was on the top of the world with the amount of things he had. Most importantly, he had a deep and personal connection with The Maker of the Heavens. His faith was unfailing. Until one day, the devil made a bet with God saying that Job only follows You because he as everything he wants. God says if you really think that, then take away all that he owns and I can assure you he will still have faith in me. Within a few months, Job had lost everything, his house, cattle, money, servants, wife and kids.  But yet Job still held on to the hope he had in God. The devil didn’t think that was enough even then. He took away his health until Job was near death. Still Job didn’t let up and kept his faith in The Almighty. Why didnt Job just quit when he saw the first signs of suffering? Why did he endure through such tragic and trying times? It was the Hope that he had In The Creator that served as his anchor; his everlasting rock that he stood upon.

Look at the civil rights movement; people like Martin Luther King Jr. Rosa Parks, John M. Perkins, and many more had their work cut out for them. It wasn’t easy trying to achieve equality for not only Blacks but for every individual that lives in America. They endured such torment and distress for such a long time that for some, it ultimately lead to their deaths, but they endured. Not one person threw in the towel or waved a white flag of surrender. They were suffering for a much larger cause, a cause bigger than themselves. They believed in a different American dream. A dream that transcends their suffering and their hurt. Every lynching, beating, hurtful word, and imprisonment was made worth while. All their fallen friends did not die in vein. Why, you may ask, because these heros chose to hope and believe in a world that didnt exist at the moment. With that hope, with that suffering came a new world of justice and equality.

Ask any long distance runner how they got to where they are at and they will say, “I suffered.” Ask any fighter how he got to where he is now and he will say, “I suffered.” Ask any long sustaining civilization how they got to where they are now and they will all say, “we suffered.” I’m fairly convinced that if we could ask Job how he has reached such peace he would say, “I suffered.” It seems to be the key to an ultimately happy ending to almost every aspect of human life; to suffer, to endure, to tolerate, is the way one can achieve not only greatness, but more importantly ultimate peace.

It is the anthem for every cancer patient, every widow, every soldier. It is the song sung by every depressed teenager, for every fighter, every musician, nation, people, coach, and hero. They have all suffered so much and sacrificed so much to achieve something greater than their situation, something much greater than themselves. In their eyes, suffering is just a bridge they must cross to get to a world where, due to their situations, at the moment does not exist, yet. They hold on to the hope that one day the suffering will end and their world will change from suffering to happiness.

As if I couldn’t come up with more illustrations and anecdotes, look at a refiner. When a refiner is refining gold, he has to subject it to intense heat inside of a huge burner where temperatures reach up to well over 2000 degrees Fahrenheit. The refiner’s job is to rid the gold of any impurities until it is pure gold with no traces of copper or silver in it. The gold gets red hot until it starts to melt and the refiner pull it out to let it cool down, then repeats the process. The whole process takes up to two to four hours long until the gold is done. Some people may ask the refiner, “how do you know when the gold is ready.” In this case, the refiner says, “I know it’s done only when I can see my reflection in it.”

So to in an attempt to answer the question “why do we suffer?” my answer takes on Socratic form, “what happens if we do not suffer?” Without some sort of suffering, there is no progress. Without it, there would be no peace, no justice; oddly enough  there would be nothing but a dying world without suffering. Suffering refines our characters, makes us better individuals. If a basketball team doesn’t suffer, there would be no championship. If civil rights activists did not suffer, there would be no justice, no equality. If the Son of Man, whom suffered the worst of all, did not suffer on the Cross, there would be no Redemption for a failing world. His suffereing is unparallel. Imagine all the sins of man weighing down on Him at one single moment. It was so immense that even The Father could not bear the sight and turn away. Why did He choose  to suffer? He suffered so we, the broken, failing, underserving mess we are, can achieve Redemption and Salvation. If we do not suffer, there is no hope for a better world; there is no hope for a world that does not yet exist. A world of peace, a world of eternal salvation and life, a world of Love.

The most important thing to remember is that The Infinite Refiner Himself is ultimately in control of our situations. He knows how to turn us during the blazing heat, and when to finally pull us out. The question I have for you is “do you reflect the image of The Creator? Do you ultimately reflect the image of Love?”  It is only when that answer is yes, is when the suffering has worth, has meaning, and has depth.

 "When you're going through hell, keep going."